The Groan Zone: Why getting lost is crucial to finding your way

Recently I was in the thick of a series of workshops with a business client of mine. We were chest-deep in a process to uncover the heart of what their for-purpose team cared about most and we’d reached the darkest part of the woods. The way forward was unclear. The energy felt zapped.

If you've ever been in the middle of making something, becoming something, reaching for something, or simply going through A Time, you know this place. It’s painful and confusing. It feels like nothing is coming together. There seem to be no answers are in sight.

You can't see the ending. The map feels useless.

My client called it the Groan Zone.

I identified with this term immediately. It absolutely feels like one looooong groan.

You may have also heard it referred to as the messy middle.

But here's what I've learned from years of doing this work, both for myself and with clients and teams: the Groan Zone isn't a mistake. It's a critical part of the path. And it's worth lingering in.

Here's why.

1. You'll discover what you will no longer tolerate.

The Groan Zone is a boundary-forging furnace. Here, the grit of frustration will rub against the truth of what you've outgrown. You may not yet know what will replace it—or even how—but you'll begin to name, with fierce clarity, what you won't stand for anymore.

These aren't polite, pretty boundaries either. They're visceral and hard-won. They are fully-embodied no's.

And they'll start to map the rest of your journey.

2. You'll learn where the pain hits hardest + where the medicine will work best.

This place will poke you right in the soft bits. It will call up every tender part, every old bruise.

As much as it stings, there is deep wisdom there.

The wounds the Groan Zone presses on are the exact places where your medicine lies, and where healing and future strength will root itself. The things that challenge you most often hold the keys to your next level of power.

3. You'll glimpse the path ahead.

In the old myths, the hero enters a deep, dark wood. There are shadows and hidden things, and in their midst a magic tree, a talisman, a guide, a sprite that turns up to show the way. The Groan Zone is your deep wood. And somewhere in this tangle, you'll stumble upon the glimmer of where you're called to serve, and where your joy can meet the world's need.

The opposite of groan is delight. In that delight (what truly lights you up) is the medicine you bring to our community.

So if you're here now, knee-deep in your own Groan Zone, don't despair.

You are in the molten heart of what comes next.

And if you're ready, I can meet you there—whether the transformation you see is for yourself of for your team—to help you hear what the Groan Zone is whispering, and open the door to the next chapter of your story.

Book a free 20-minute Story Breakthrough Session and let's see what's waiting for you on the other side.